


Honey I Dumped the Crow

by scapolice



Category: Nefarious (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 04:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11283750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scapolice/pseuds/scapolice
Summary: Apparently, Crow's minions aren't too used to seeing him without his armour. It works out in his favour, eventually.





	Honey I Dumped the Crow

What Becky had said earlier was true- hindsight was, in fact, 20/20. Not that he didn't believe her when she said it, of course- she was his PA and he trusted her- well, to a certain extent. Unfortunately, he didn't usually trust his underlings with personal information often- so, needless to say, they'd be surprised to see a scruffy-haired, mean-eyed, sharp-toothed young man who _couldn't be older than 23_ just step right into the work kitchen and brew himself some coffee. He didn't really think they'd make such a fuss about it. A part of him was proud they were so strict on security- the rest, however, was seething. There he was, in his slippers and gown, just making his morning brew and they had the gall, the _audacity_ , to call him a stowaway? Crow is snatched up before he can say a word in his defence, and the ship is lowered just enough so that he wouldn't die immediately when thrown overboard. 

And then, he is. 

It's a strange feeling, to have an impromptu mutiny from a crew that didn't even realise you were their captain. A sense of irony hits him just before the ground does- it's sticky, and it's wet, but smells delicious. Sitting up, Crow manages to pull his surprisingly intact body away from the viscous substance coating the floor. It's difficult, especially working with _one arm_ , but he just about does it. Standing up, he takes in his surroundings. It's yellow, yellow, yellow- everything's horrendously yellow. It takes him a few moments to realise he's in Princess Apoidea's territory- since when were they flying that close? Still, it wasn't too bad. He might've just made a huge hole in the hive, but nobody was about. The distant sound of fanfare clues him in on that maybe they're having a holiday for once. That's nice. Maybe he should do that sometime- a day dedicated entirely to _him_. ...He'll run it by Becky when he gets his ship back.

There's little to do but wait until she realises he's not where he's supposed to be; which will be a while, considering how often he does that anyway. Once again, he thanks any sort of deity that's responsible for secretaries that he got the best one, like, ever. Yeah. Even _heroes_ are jealous of his fantastic underwoman- nodding to himself, he gives himself another pat on the back for good judgement on not hiring anyone else, and letting her do everything ever. She loves him too, secretly. Probably. Or, at least, she loves the money he gives her, so that's close enough.

Crow ponders on what to do next. Because, really, there's not a plan, there's no grenades he can hop on and throw his mechanical middle finger to physics, or even enemies to bash. It's just him, in a warm, damp room, with a whole lot of honey. A whole lot of delicious, sweet-smelling honey. Leaning down, he scoops some up on his finger and tastes it. He's never been one for bee vomit, but- **oh.** He could get used to this.

It's a long while later that Becky finally finds _why_ her boss hasn't been responding to any of her calls. Some minions report an apparent stowaway. Messy hair, dark eyes, sharp teeth and one arm- of course, they're quickly deposited into the ocean for some other company to pick up. She has no time for treason, intentional or not. She has to find Crow, before anyone else does- without his armour, he's just a menacing idiot with the occasional stroke of genius. Anyone could do him in, especially here; there's nothing artificial for him to take apart and work with. Her heels clack against the ship's metal floors as she sends out the third search troop in the last half hour, pacing on the brig with quiet fury- and _anxiety_. If her boss dies, she won't get paid, after all.

The troop radios in. They've found him. Good news is that he's alive and in one piece. Bad news is that he's eaten almost all of the royal honey reserve, and as a consequence, can't even walk- he's gorged himself to ruin, without even leaving a morsel for her. Becky's lips press together tightly in a grimace. Think of the money. Think of the _money_. Oh, she deserves a raise for this. 

It takes six minions to de-stick him long enough to get him up and out of there, quickly enough to avoid detection by the celebrating insectoids just a few hives away. Crow is ushered through, back to the ship, and Becky high-tails him out of there while explaining exactly what occurred during his little expedition and what appointments he'd missed- what he'd have to reschedule (including go-karting with Mayapple, but that happens every week, so it's hardly a terrible loss). She's curt with him; more than usual, and stares with envy as he licks his grubby little fingers clean of pilfered honey. 

Crow excuses himself to go shower. He's in there a very long while, vigorously scrubbing every trace of his misadventure from his stickied skin. It's a success, by many standards; the crew know what he looks like now, what happens to traitors, and his belly is so full of delicious honey he's sure if someone socked him in the stomach it'd wobble and just absorb the blow.

_(Halfway through, Becky's fingers 'slip' and turn the faucet to cold. He shrieks like a little girl- there's some gratification for her in that, at least- and the faces of his crewmembers trying to take him seriously for the few hours afterwards.)_


End file.
